I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
