three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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