UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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