The maid of honor just puked.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
