My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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