I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
they call him Oral-B. enough said
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize