This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
