i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize