Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
