ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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