walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
