gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
