sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
