And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we're so committed to being not committed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
