Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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