I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
