If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize