Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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