My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we're so committed to being not committed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
