8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize