Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize