do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
