I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
