So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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