im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
