U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize