wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Who died my cat blue again?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
