im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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