I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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