i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize