when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize