Umm I'm too high to move.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
