good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize