I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
