Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize