how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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