Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
