Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
