yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
