If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
