We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
