Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
