You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
