how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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