In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
