You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm drive I can fine osifer
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize