Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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