Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
