Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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