I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
