The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
