You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
