thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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