Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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