Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
