Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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