Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
